“My Alarm Went Off”
Death, in fact, is what I wished for. But, I will wake up today hoping that is something I never wish for again.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
The noise of my alarm grows louder and louder every second I come closer to becoming conscious again. I hate that noise, it brings me back to the ninth grade when I had to get up this early to go to my living hell.
After listening to my alarm for what feels like an eternity, I awake from my sleep, glance at the ceiling, and think. This is it. This is my first year back in public school, but also my last year of school overall.
Why is it my first year back in public school?
I get chills just thinking about everything he has done to me. From me getting pushed in the lockers, to me getting a tray of food dumped on me every day– it wasn’t what I planned my first year of highschool to be, but it was. I wanted to get good grades, become friends with a lot of people, but never did I know the people I wanted to become friends with, would be the people who tried to bring me to my death. I thought it would’ve eventually stopped, so I just ignored all of it until around the end of the year when I went into my mom’s medicine cabinet, grabbed a bottle of pills, and tried to swallow them. But, my mom walked in and forced them out of my mouth.
I was scared. Not scared of dying, but scared of what was to come after I swallowed those pills and never woke again. What if there isn’t an afterlife like everyone says? What if I just sat in the dirt to become rotted? Is that what I really wanted? Yes. As long as I got away from him, I would’ve finally been happy.
Josh Cox | Author of "Dear Phoebe"
I am in the 11th grade at High Point Academy. I am the author of the fictional series "Dear Phoebe" that is featured here at Upstate Exposures Magazine.